C5 Part 2: Diabetic Boogaloo

It is time! Soon the streets will be filled with the drool-drenched comatose bodies of butter-induced shock victims. They will call me a monster, but in truth they should be grateful. Is there a sweeter way to leave this mortal plane than to do so while passionately embracing one of these chocolate goddesses? Breathing deep its intoxicating aroma as it overtakes your senses. It exists to be consumed and you to consume it. You cast off your earthly existence and enter a state of euphoria like none have known before or will ever again. After an experience like that, who among us would care if their organs were harvested to support the agenda of a murderous tyrannical baker bent on world conquest and everlasting life to further extend his torment of mankind and all that have ever held feelings of hope and love in this world? Not I, my friends. Not I.

Back to the task at hand!

Chocolate-Chip Coronary-Carnage Cookies

codename: C⁵

^{->click for Part 1}

Procedure:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare a baking sheet with foil, parchment paper, or a nonstick baking mat.

2. After 24 hours in the fridge, the dough should be nice and firm yielding much plumper cookies. Scoop 6 mounds of dough, roughly the size of large golf balls, onto your baking sheet.

Experiment note #3: Try to push any chocolate pieces resting on the top of your cookies deeper inside the dough to avoid what happened in the picture to the left. Your victims may be less willing to ingest your sugary Trojan horse if your soldiers are too busy screaming their whereabouts.

3. Sprinkle the top of your cookie dough with a dash of sea salt.

4. Place your baking pan in the oven and let it bake for 18-20 minutes or until golden brown.

5. Transfer your cookies to a wire rack for 10 minutes in order to cool off.

6. Give to your enemies.

Experiment note #4: Yields 1.5 dozen 5-inch cookies.

In the end I would call this attempt a complete success. Simply tasting this treat has caused my knees to buckle more than once and my teeth to beg for the sweet embrace of death just to stop their pain. The effectiveness of this weapon also seems to increase when served at a warm temperature.

Dastardly Plan Note #1

For now my major sugary experimentations will be taking place on Sundays with the documentation released on Mondays (with the exception of tomorrow). Smaller findings and studies may be posted indiscriminately throughout the week. Changes may occur when my alter-ego's classes begin.