Get 'Em While They're Young (C5 - Part 1)

Ah the chocolate chip cookie. There is no better place to start my complete savory takeover than with the simplest yet most devious of sweets. Introduced to the mindless sheep at a young age, with promises of gifts from a fat man, this cookie has been imprinted in the brain as a thing of joy and elation. With just one whiff of its moist buttery-chocolaty goodness it can bring the world shamelessly salivating at its feet. I must harness this power. It must be my feet covered with the drool of the masses!

And so begins the experiment...

Chocolate-Chip Coronary-Carnage Cookies

codename: C⁵

Experiment note #1: For this attempt I shall be following the process of one, Jacques Torres. A man who has been said to have already cracked into the cookie's true demonic potential.
Experiment note #2: This is a two day procedure, so you must plan ahead.

A side of villainy that few ever see is the preparation it takes to pull off a successful plan. They just assume it's an easy task to decapitate an archenemy in such an inhumane manner that all who witness the event are forced to question their own existence. It requires some time and Project C⁵ is no different. Rounding up the ingredients alone proved to be a difficult task. You wouldn't believe the amount of limbs people had to lose so that I could mine on cake flour!

Materials:

2 cups minus 2 tablespoons of cake flour

1 2/3 cups of bread flour

1 1/4 teaspoons of baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons of coarse salt (sea salt)

1 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1 1/4 cups of unsalted butter

1 1/4 cups of light brown sugar

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar (white)

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

1 1/4 pounds of bittersweet (cocoa value >=60%) chocolate disks/fevers

Procedure:

1. Combine flours, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl.

2. In separate bowl, use a mixer or your hands (I usually don't recommend touching dangerous chemicals, but it is doable) to cream the butter and sugars together until light in texture.

3. Add eggs one at a time into the sugar-butter-cream bowl, mixing thoroughly after each addition.

4. Add the vanilla extract to the mixture

5. Reduce speed and add the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined.

6. Add the chocolate pieces and mix into the mixture doing your best not to break the pieces apart.

7. Press the dough into plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 24-36 hours.

I've reached this part of the experiment without too many complications. I sadly waited too long to add the chocolate to the mix so it became more difficult to amalgamate properly. Let us hope this will not diminish the weapon's effectiveness. For now, I must let my beauty mature.

I can already see the artery destruction.

->click for Part 2